a closed/bound photoon january 16, 2004 i had a mastectomy after my second breast cancer diagnosis in four years. i just wasn't able to finish the highly prized "5 year cancer free" marathon. several days before my surgery i scheduled a sitting with a ny photographer/artist who still creates "daguerreotypes". i realized early after my diagnosis the importance of embracing the terrain of the journey. i accepted that my body was going to be different and i wanted a "record" of it before the change occurred. it was an effortless decision and i knew this timeless, historical form of photography was the perfect medium to capture my body as i knew it. my twin sister accompanied me on this expedition and we arrived at the studio with pensive hearts and crystal clear intent... to embrace the event before us. the photographer was incredibly thoughtful and sensitive. the third photo was a charm. as the image birthed from the wash i saw my nakedness and my eyes looking back at me were etched with worry, fear and grace. i knew i/we would move on from this. as the photographer handed me the wrapped image we both became aware of the power of the exchanged object. after gently tucking the leather bound, moment-emblazened silver into my purse my sister and i went out for a delicious frenchtoast breakfast.
i have only been able to open the photo three times. even though i approach it with all the intellectual, logical and rational power i can muster i am unable to view it without the weight of overbearing emotions.
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