life. and numbers.

it is neither
short
like a haiku

nor
long
like forever

this is neither
unfortunate
nor
regrettable

but
1 year
365 days
12 months
4 weeks
7 days
24 hours
1440 minutes
86400 seconds

is either
refreshing

or
a real bitch.

(my faves)

what it's not. and the gratitude of my flesh.

it's not
a victim
of your shame
or mine

it's not
a symbol
of your fear
or mine

it's not
a reflection
of your arrogance
or mine

it's not
an armor
for your struggles
or mine

it's not
a billboard
for your truths
or mine.

it's not fabric to be stitched
clay to be formed
marble to be carved
a book to be read
a song to be sung
a cheer to be shouted
a code to be broken
a mystery to be solved
a key for a lock
or a
puzzle
piece
without
a
space!

it is simply flesh.

MY flesh.

and it is grateful.

for the things
it
is
not.

for **starburst**.

I met an awesome woman when I went to flickr to set up my politcal, social and emotional protest against breast cancer. Her flickr name was **starburst**. She was among the first few to join the "beyond the pink" group and she opened a discussion with "is it all about breast cancer?" . She explained "BTW, my DX is adenocarcinoma, stage IV. I am at war!". During our discussion I googled "adenocarcinoma" as I wasn't familiar with this type of cancer. I got a very brief education but enough to learn that it's a toughass cancer- but nothing compared to the the kickass woman I was just getting to know. I began to follow her story on flickr and discovered that she created two other cancer support groups. I joined both flick cancer and too sexy for my hair. These groups are by far the most compassionate and supportive groups on flickr with great thanks to **starburst**. She was an amazingly genuine and sincere woman who wrote with raw tender honesty. Even during the most complex hours of her treatments she reached out to and for others.

**starbusrt** is Lori . She died Saturday morning October 27th and the world is less charmed because of her absence. I so badly wanted to use "is" instead of "was" while describing her but I know that I must deal with the here and now. When I ascended the stairs to the roof this evening I was hoping to see an amazing sky to photograph to place with these words. After all, the sky is where stars live. The view from the roof could not have been more vibrant, dramatic and almost surreal. This sky had a life and power all of its own that seemed to be LIVING while everything on the earth became still. It was one of those skies that I describe "if I were to paint it exactly as it is- the image would hardly be believable".

Lori also blogged at "too sexy for my hair". While we only corresponded a few times I checked in on her blog weekly- to make sure she was doing ok and often simply to see her words and be kissed by her strength, graceful vulnerability, joy and sometimes fear. Her blog exposed a life in its deepest, richest colors.

I know cancer seems so far away to some of you. But her words, her beautifully clear words unveil such generosity in their detail and hope. You deserve to go to them and be touched by them. There is so much life there.

Peace, Lori, in the sky and forever.

In Memory.