the view from here.

i spent the day placing new garments in the rhea belle apparel store with more to come in the next few weeks. some more radical and to the point. it was joyfully bound to happen.

i'm preparing. there's a lot going on with this project including a coffee table book that's in the works that will hi-lite rebel1in8 and rhea belle apparel. it's a collaboration between Privacy Wear and THEME magazine so i anticipate nothing but sheer and uber coolness to come of it. it should be coming out in the fall. i'm not sure i'm suppose to mention any details until it actaully comes out. but be assured that i will keep you posted. also, i was contacted this week by a costume designer working on a play that involves a character who is dealt a breast cancer diagnosis and explores the aftermath of a mastectomy.

in a letter to me she writes "I found your shop while researching post-mastectomy clothes, because I didn't think that the character, Ann, would have used prosthetics. I have to say, your clothes are amazing and the clients' comments should make you feel so proud!!! It's very touching to read the reviews of women whom the clothes helped to feel beautiful and feminine and mainly, themselves again. Thank you!"

through phone correspondence she informed me that the costume designs were inspired by my collection. since no other clothes like mine were found during her research the producer agreed that my website and store will be mentioned in the program at the costume designer's request. a NEW YORK production!!! i have also been invited to provide literature for my website and store in the theater for the audiences. and, of course, i'll be getting free tickets to the show. (after the show opens i will provide the name and location- i have my reasons for not doing so at this time.) geezus, how cool is this!? i'm suppose to receive a copy of the script and designs this week.

...and to top it all off- a certain garment is in the patent process in legal hands as we speak and i should be able to launch/unveil it in the fall. another motto of mine: if you need it and it doesn't exist- miyods! (make it your own damn self) so i did.

do i feel lucky these days? well, i've always said that luck is: simply (or not) being prepared for an opportunity or open door. so yes, i'm feeling lucky. very very lucky. and damn proud of myself for sticking with it.
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i'm the revelling rebel

renovations.

During Laurie's visit she revealed three sweaters to me that she wanted renovated. I had asked her to bring any of her garments that she liked but no longer wore since her surgery. All three pieces were formerly pull-overs that she seldom wore after her single right side mastectomy.

Like me, Laurie finds that simple pull-over garments that accentuate the body's transformed facade are awkward, simply poor designs and uncomplimentary to our single breasted bodies. I often describe my body as architecture. In the designing and engineering of structural forms there is aesthetic purpose in nearly every rise, fall, relief and recess of material. I look at garments in this way and as a "service" to the body. Garments must now serve my form. Not vice-versa. The flat side of my torso where there once was a mound is utilitarian space perfectly suited to embellishment and more especially to function- closures such as buttons, zippers, hooks, etc. My closet is nearly empty because I have removed everything that is not suitable for my architecture. I am in the process of renovating all blouses, sweaters and dresses by moving all of the buttons to the right side where they belong... I'll keep you posted on that project.

Cutting Laurie's garments made me nervous. Very nervous. One is made of silk, one is lambs wool with angora, and the delicious red turtleneck sweter is 2ply cashmere! I've turned almost all of my pull-overs into asymmetrical cardigans. I simply love severing asymmetry and revealing an underneath that no longer exists. This diabolical approach to design challenges and addresses traditional body composition and replaces "expected" form with function. It's like busting the brick out of a boring north-facing wall to install a window- you know, let some of that freaking beautiful sunlight in- sort of speak. The result is visual and conceptual trickery that works. Well, that's what I think anyway. This garment concept is one solution of many towards accommodating our transformed bodies, reinventing the perception of our architecture, sparing our flesh the trauma of further surgery and the humiliating rash often cursed upon us by the prosthesis.

In the very near future I plan on providing some "how-to" instructions for this type of renovation. But in the mean time go and gather those pull-overs or any boring plain front tops that are just taking up space in your closet or drawers and have them ready!!!

Laurie! these pieces will go into the mail on Monday!

oh! just go find it!

If you'd like to support the Do It Yourself movement, as I do, and support crafters, designers and inventors alike then this is the place for you. Besides making things myself I often discover some creatively perfect garments and accessories to show off, embrace, honor and reinvent the terrane of my post mastectomy, non-reconstructed, no-prosthesis body. So, I'll be listing great finds and post them here at "oh! just go find it". Over at "etsy" where I sell my Rebel1in8 jewelry and a lil' bit of Rhea Belle clothing there is amazing creativity and invention happening. I have found that most sellers respond enthusiastically to custom work if something they make needs a little altering to make it the perfect purchase for you. A little communication goes a long long way...

For starters see what's available at the Rebel1in8 store.

I discovered asymmetrically printed t's that I think are perfect for a torso that cries for a reinvented center at stevester's store, avalove's store, circular accessories and LookForFiddleHeads.

There's some fabulously comfortable asymmetrical and familiar body embracing designs at treehouse28's store. She also creates a fabulous hat and headband too!

Recently upon discovering her "neckwarmers" I contacted JewelLace about a custom order. I asked her if she'd be interested in making one that trailed down the right side a bit longer to flow through my flat landscape. She loved the challenge and the purpose of the request and allowed me to choose the colors. Within two days she sent me a photo of one of the completed gardens. I've ordered two of them and when I receive them I'll post photos!!! I plan to wear them with plain fitted tops to keep the landscaping simple.

If you're still just getting to know your newly transformed body an accessory called a "capelet" might interest you. kyassib's store has some mighty fine examples in her store along with other beautiful wraps. They are usually shorter than a "poncho" and are similar to a wide draped-over-the-shoulder cowl neck. They can be placed over any garment including spring/summer tops depending on the material they're made of. They are nice to wear shortly after surgery as they usually have a button and are easy to put on without lifting your arms over your head.

Speaking of your head, does yours need some TLC warmin' this winter? The cosy knits (literally) store has some of the best knitting fixin's on etsy. Beautiful hats and mittens in just about every flavor can be found waiting for the perfect home.

Looking for a fabulously knitted scarf for the winter and you also LOVE putting your money towards an incredibly important cause? Here's the dilly for you!!! Warm cozy scarves are being knitted and sold to support BREAST CANCER ACTION! BCA is the absolute best breast cancer advocacy organization out there. Despite the fact that I'm not too keen on the store's name I'm super keen on their cause- so its' all good... go check out KnittingForKnockers' store.

m.i.y.o.d.s.

Why settle for only what's offered at the overpriced department stores and boutiques? If finding the right garment is difficult and you'd rather "make it your own damn self" from scratch or by renovating an existing garment then here's the list for you! I'm posting ideas and references to designs that not only embrace the terrane of the post mastectomy, non-reconstructed, no-prosthesis body but these designs thoughtfully celebrate and honor it. I'll post photos of handmade garments and basic "how to" instructions so check back in often if you're interested in the Do It Yourself approach to your wardrobe solutions. We'll start with the obvious... Rhea Belle designs at Rebel1in8.
"The design and marketing of items of wear for one-breasted women is only a question of time, and we who are now designing and wearing our own asymmetrical patterns and New Landscape jewelry are certainly in the vanguard of a new fashion!"
Audre Lorde, "The Cancer Journals", 1980

Rhea Belle designs.

The DIYNOTDIE star reconstructs a sweater.

"Cut up yer shirts!!! sez Pocketina."

Take charge! Go knit somehthing!

Two Dutch warriors rock out a post mastectomy clothing line in the late 90's!!!

ideas.

On the adventure to replenish your wardrobe with garments that embrace your bi-lateral or single post mastectomy, non-reconstructed, no-prosthesis body there are some simple, practical clothing tricks to look out for. I think the following inspirations are just a sampling of design techniques and elements that can either embrace and honor your body or soften the new terrane. Like Rhea Belle garments these designs create visual balance, re-create symmetry and invite women to simply embrace their natural architecture through design. There are many sides to comfort and every day is different as a woman's transformed body gracefully invites buttons, zippers or gathered falling fabrics. Key words to search online department store or designer clothing for various garments are "asymmetry/asymmetrical, ruffles, cowl, drape/draped, pleats/pleated"... I'll add to this array whenever I find a delightful design that may nudge towards inspiration. Get inspired. Explore. Re-invent. Re-define.

a cashmere cowl.
cashmere cowl/capelet.
comfy drapey shawl.
comfy grey wrap.
sweet drapey shirt.
sweet drapey dress.
sleeveless drapey cowl halter.
dandy sweater with lapels.
flowing cardigan.
flowing fabric blouse.
kickin' fabric ways.
orange pleated goodness
embrace that asymmetry!
ruffle it.
simply just cool!
ruffle it even more!!!
bow it.
cowl dress it.

HAPPY RHEA!

The program in which I was included is now online!

See "Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies", WABC TV, Channel 7, NY (American Cancer Society).

And don't forget the CALL TO ARMS!!!.

amazon seamstress.

My friend and crafty rebel spinning knitter gardner apple tree havin' extraordinaire Tina has written a glowing article for etsy's STORQUE about Rebel1in8 and Rhea Belle clothing. I was honored to be a part of such a well written and supportive piece. Because of it I have sold every last Rebel cap necklace in my etsy store so a new batch is in the works!!! Stay tuned because a lot of new jewelry and clothing is coming!

"amazon seamstress". I love that. love. love. love.

photo by gcs.

Rebel Coo...

i had a joyfully full day today hanging out with my dear friend Isabel and her 10 month old daughter Lucia. we took the subway to an estate in the bronx called Wave Hill. an incredibly beautiful area with rolling hills, voluptuous trees and tamed gardens. we had lunch on a terrace overlooking the hudson and then ventured within the gardens to romp in the grass with Lucia. we were there for hours talking, watching, singing silly songs and making kazoo sounds through stretched grass between my thumbs.

i purchased a set of five onesies for Lucia with the intention of making comfortable little dresses with my fabric scraps from the Rhea Belle clothing. i succeeded and was giddy to give them to her knowing that Isabel would be thrilled. and she was. Lucia, well, putting on clothes isn't her favorite thing. taking her clothes off is pretty easy- it's getting them back on. these are the first three. i have to make an adjustment to the one with the full skirt- it's too tight at the waste to go over her shoulders/arms comfortably. i'm going to open the side and either install a zipper or a fun button.

Isabel came up with the name "Rebel Coo" as we discussed the possibilities of selling the dresses. they are so easy and the concept to offer them through Rebel1in8 flowed from a river of conversations surrounding the ideals and social constructs that both bind and guide young women. i love Lucia. she's an amazing human being already- she's kind, sharing, thoughtful, social and for 10 months old she has a fantastic sense of humor. she gives me a hardy laugh when i make the ugliest faces at her. i mentioned to Isabel that i was very conscious of the number of times i wanted to say "you're so adorable" or "you're so beautiful" when i looked at Lucia. i don't want to be one of those people that defines and praises a young girl for her looks- although i'm referring more to her disposition. i'm convinced that self confidence, integrity and body image starts at a very young age. at 10 months? probably not. but who really knows? at any rate, i do like the idea of making very comfy dresses made only from scraps to crawl and run around in. and when these little dresses economically support Rhea Belle clothing i'll like em' even more! so keep an eye out in my etsy store for Rebel Coo... and select Rhea Belle garments , too.

the color of sun dress.

pure asymmetry embraced by yellow. my all time favorite color. three light cotton comfy low v-neck t-shirts evolved into this dress. one and a half shirts created the top. a third shirt created the bottom portion of the dress while the other half of the second shirt gave birth to two triangles for flare. this dress is great over jeans, leggings, long shorts or even a nice light-airy skirt. it is super comfortable, cool and saucy.

This incredibly comfortable t-shirt embraces asymmetry with the re-invention of the v-neck and cries of rebellion. When I wear the one that I made for myself I feel as if I'm walking down the street with a body covered in beautiful tattoos and piercings- empowered by my decision to go against the grain, upstream and naturally asymmetrical. It is my sharp intention to carve a wide path into the world that makes it clear that these bodies are out there and are here to thrive in glorious fashion and comfort.

See Rhea Belle.

the leah summer dress.

named after my grandmother because the beautifully light and cool floral fabric reminds me of her. again, this dress was created with three light cotton shirts. i just love the draping of a summer cowl neck. i let this one hang off the shoulder at one side (or the other). the fabric can be pulled off of both shoulders for a more glamorous look or simply cooler-refreshing experience. another great thing about my dresses that are made with stretchy-comfy shirts is that they ca be gathered at the waste or pulled down over the hips for a more fitted look. the airy floral fabric for the front and back panels was a delightful find... and i'm not givin' that source up.

See Rhea Belle.

wrapped, comfy asymmetry.

this t of wrapped brownness started out as two cotton shirts. the short sleeved top had a double layer front that i was able to crop and then cut out a section on the right side to unveil a landscape of ruching. the bottom ruffled edges from the t-shirt were sewn to the new opening to add cohesive, finished edges. the dark brown came from a long sleeved tunic- i'll be working on a garment to utilize the top portion so stay tuned. the ties were made by cutting strips of left over fabric and tying the strips together. the garment can be tied as loosely as desired in the front or back. this is one comfy top!!!


See Rhea Belle.

renovation. revolution.

my friend and rebel comrade at DIY, NOT DIE is illustrating how she is renovating her wardrobe to more gracefully fit her post bi-lateral mastectomy architecture without the use of prostheses. as she describes- she doesn't want to wear Threadless t-shirts all of the time (although i'll have to thank her for turning me on to them!) so she's re-inventing the more tailored garments in her wardrobe. in just several easy steps she walks through the process of removing and replacing existing darts with a more user-friendly placement of them to accommodate her form with comfort. keep an eye on her! she's going to change the world!!!

basics.

it was a few months or so following my mastectomy (january 2004) when i called the hospital "mastectomy boutique" where i had my surgery. i had a no-brainer question (or so i thought) but wanted to make sure my needs could be met before i ventured up to the upper-east side of manhattan from brooklyn. i was ready to acknowledge the quandaries ahead of me. not simply "how will i clothe this body"- but how will i embrace the beauty of my lovely remaining left breast without physically burdening the tender-too sensitive-everything-feels-like-steel-wool-against-my skin-because-of-nerve-damage right side? so i dialed the number to the boutique and the conversation went something like this:

boutique rep: hello.
me: hi. i'm calling to make sure that you carry post-mastectomy bras?
br: um. yes. (sounding confused by my question) that's what we are- a 'post-mastectomy boutique'. did you have your surgery here and how long ago was it? single or bi-lateral?
me: i had surgery in january and i had a single right-side mastect... (i was cut off here)
br: do you already have your prosthesis?
me: oh. what?
br: do you already have a prosthesis? have you been fitted for one?
me: no. i won't be wearing or getting a prosthesis...
br: what? what is it that you need?
me: i'm looking for a single cup bra. you have those right?
br: why would you want that?! NO. we don't carry anything like that.
me: oh. um. thanks. (stunned, embarrassed. jaw now open. feeling naive in a new world that i could not relate to at all)
end of phone call.

in lieu of symmetry.

Meet Rhea Belle. A single right-side mastectomy mannequin. Rhea is entering the world free of fear and self-conscious thorns. In lieu of rules and traditional solutions Rhea plans to embrace her form through thoughtfully designed fashions.

Several months after my right-side mastectomy in January of 2004 and proudly moving forward without reconstruction or a prosthesis I was forced to evaluate my (then) existing wardrobe. It became crystal clear as I dressed that the clothes in my closet were no longer appropriate for my body. Every dawn unveiled a psychological and political discourse within myself to either embrace my new architecture or camouflage it. Philosophically I new the answer. However, socially it was not always an easy thing to do.

As my favorite dresses and blouses fell over my form and rested upon the new landscape the emptiness on the right side was always awkward and apparent- like putting on a pair of three legged pants. I gave up buying anything with darts and began playing with knit t-shirts and sweaters using various texture, pattern and fabric techniques to create visual balance. On the days I wanted to embrace my natural form I'd wear one of my creations. On "camouflage" days I use to swing a silk scarf around my neck to drape and fill the flat terrain.

Occasionally I find garments that work perfectly as they are- asymmetrical designs, cowl necks, blouses with attached scarves, draping and pleated/ruffly fronts will balance out the asymmetry. However, cool ones (and not as in temperature) are few and far between and a huge time investment is needed to procure an up-to-date everyday wardrobe. Eventually I began to examine clothing in a new way. Instead of accepting clothes the way they are on the rack I'll immediately start "renovating" them in my mind to work with my body. If I can technically handle the renovation I buy it- if the price is right that is (on occasion some garments become sacrifices to the cause). A pull-over angora sweater has become an empowered asymmetrical cardigan, the buttons on a blouse have found a new asymmetrical center, ruffles on a blouse have been united to one side while the right side was de-darted, ruching creates balance and "scarfin' it" has taken on a whole new meaning for a black cotton tunic with a draping scarf stitched to it. Rhea Belle garments create visual balance and re-create symmetry. There are many sides to comfort and every day is different as my transformed body gracefully invites buttons, zippers or gathered falling fabrics within new terrain. Necessity is the mother of invention. Wearing garments that are created for, honor and embrace my unique architecture is not only empowering it is necessary and crucial to social acclimation in my post mastectomy world.

"The design and marketing of items of wear for one-breasted women is only a question of time, and we who are now designing and wearing our own asymmetrical patterns and New Landscape jewelry are certainly in the vanguard of a new fashion!"
Audre Lorde, "The Cancer Journals", 1980

See Rhea Belle.

reflections of a historical mystery.

truth is the impetus for the presence of these words. an honest insight into insecurity and/or a curious battle with philosophy and social politics. either way, i am certain that with the eviction of these thoughts from my head i shall be set free. i am certain...

for forty two years (real close to forty three) i have walked the earth with a body designed by nature. two years ago it was re-designed by it as well. in my mind my body is still normal; i had cancer in my right breast, therefore, the breast was removed, therefore, i no longer have cancer or my right breast. this newly designed vessel that i experience life through- and in- serves me beautifully.

then why are there weekday mornings when i pile my favorite weekend blouses and snug t-shirts on the bed after pulling them on and then off after critically analyzing whether or not the fabric is too telling on the right side. too empty. and finally settling for the long sleeved one that is usually too hot for the season but "puffy" enough in the front to not show off anything... at all. and then there's the scarf-o'flauge (see "scarfless in brooklyn" a few posts back for that story).

i know in my heart that breast reconstruction wasn't for me. geeze- i freaked out when i found out that the surgeon who performed my lumpectomy five years ago chose to place three 1/8" long metal staples onto breast tissue and around the perimeter of the excision in order to see the site better on future mammograms. if the thought of these small pieces of metal under my skin bothered me- i can imagine what a mound of anything that would be literally shoved, crammed and forced under my brutally stretched radiated muscle and skin would have done to my personal psychology. and i know in my heart that the $300 prosthesis that lives in my drawer does more damage than good to my integrity. and all of this to avoid looking normal. or would it be- all of this to look normal?

so. why do my words not reflect my feelings when i'm preparing to step out into the world. well, i'm human for one. and live in a world guided, or mis-guided by misunderstood illusions of beauty. so if it takes daily affirmations like "i'm no clown for your enatainment" (in a joe pesci from 'goodfellas' kind of voice) to assimilate or even protect myself from the world around me- then so be it. at the end of the day or more profoundly- at the end of this journey- it's not about what my body looks like- it's how i've taken care of it and respected it. and best of all that i guide it through the days on my own terms.