words. and tolerance.

The following are quotes that I've heard this weekend. No kidding.

This was said to a friend of mine after she informed a friend of her upcoming bi-lateral mastectomy:

"I hope you're going to have reconstruction- a woman at my gym had a mastectomy without reconstruction and she's always 'in your face' about it."

This was said to my sister today while she was telling a neighbor about my Rhea Belle clothing.

"Oh, your sister didn't have reconstruction? I know a young woman in her thirties that had a mastectomy. She HAD to get reconstruction because she's young and beautiful."

It's a really good thing both of these ideas were not expressed to me. Just an FYI when talking to me... if you can dish it out- you better be able to take it. (And stand beyond arms reach, just in case.) BTW: I live in the supposed liberal, hip/cool, intellectual, cultural, anything-goes New York City... and actually I've learned over the years- sometimes, it's anything but.

departures. arrivals.

"Refashioning with a purpose: Clothes for the one-breasted woman" by Debra Roby.

spreadin' the rebel love.

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I discovered more great press for Rebel1in8 at ReadyMade Magazine!!!

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HAPPY RHEA!

The program in which I was included is now online!

See "Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies", WABC TV, Channel 7, NY (American Cancer Society).

And don't forget the CALL TO ARMS!!!.

ricochet number two.

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"chicken..."

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more icing!

I received the following email today!!!

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FYI,
There’s been considerable interest in the Breast Cancer Special just aired and so wanted to let you know that we are re-running it in several ways.

On WABC TV and WABC TVHD we will re-run it this Sunday 10/14 at 5:30am EST.

We also will soon be streaming it on our website HERE.

We will also re-run it on our digital channel.
The call letters are DABC but the cable channels call it WABC Plus.

On Cablevision it is channel 107 and on Time Warner it is channel 164.

If people have satellites, they should contact their carrier for the channel number.

Re-run times are on the following days & times:

Fridays: 3:30am-4am

Saturdays: 6pm-6:30pm & 3:30am-4am

Sundays: 6pm-6:30pm & 3:30am-4am

This schedule begins October 19th and will continue for approx. 2 months.

Thanks so much for your interest.

Best regards,
Jeelu Billimoria
Senior Producer
WABC TV
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How cool is that!?

awareness.

ricochet.
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the polaroid diptych:
"A summer with 65 GY, 2000"

icing on the cake.

I am involved in a television program about breast cancer. I was interviewed about my Rebel1in8 website and my Rhea Belle clothing designs. A lot has happened this year with my project and I think the opportunity to participate in this awesome program is a sign that my heart is in the right place- as it is my guide these days.

Produced by Emmy Awards winner Jeelu Billimoria "Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies" airs this Sat. 10/6 at 7:30pm on WABC TV. If you are not in the NY/Tri-State area the program can be seen via satellite TV (ABC East).

Press release:
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WABCOctober 4, 2007
WABC-TV TO AIR SPECIAL“BREAST CANCER: NEW THINKING AND NEW THERAPIES”
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6 AT 7:30PM

WABC-TV will mark Breast Cancer Awareness Month with a special entitled “Breast Cancer: New Thinking and New Therapies” beginning at 7:30 p.m., ET on Saturday, October 6. The half-hour special, anchored by Eyewitness News Anchor Diana Williams and Reporter Stacey Sager, will examine the progress being made in breast cancer diagnosis and treatments. From new guidelines on the use of MRI’s to advances in surgery and issues surrounding affordable healthcare, WABC will take a look at the most recent advancements and will highlight the latest thinking on breast cancer.

WABC speaks to medical experts and researchers from New York’s top cancer treatment centers including: Memorial Sloan-Kettering, St. Luke’s - Roosevelt Comprehensive Breast Center, Beth Israel Medical Center Comprehensive Breast Service, Murray Hill Radiology and American Cancer Society. WABC also speaks to survivors of breast cancer and features Kris Carr, author and film-maker of “Crazy Sexy Cancer;” Marisa Acocella Machetto, author of “Cancer Vixen;” and Jacqueline Lou Skaggs, founder, “Rebel 1 in 8” and many others.

This annual special is part of WABC-TV’s continuing commitment to the Making Strides against Breast Cancer Campaign of the American Cancer Society. This marks WABC's 13th year as media sponsors of the Making Strides walk; viewers can learn more about the October 21st event here.

Tune in to “Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies" on Saturday, October 6 at 7:30 p.m. ET.

Jeelu Billimoria is the Senior Producer of “Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies.”

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cake and photo created by gcs.

a brush with action.

My friend and artist illustrator activist extroardinaire Nicole Schulman recently participated in the conception and birth of a powerful mural at an intersection in Brooklyn, NY. The mural honors and memorializes fifth-graders Victor Flores and Juan Estrada and 4-year-old James Rice, three young boys who were killed at the busy intersection. It's an incredible and moving tribute and visual message.

Nicole is also the illustrator of "It's only a matter of time" and sells cool jewelry and art at etsy. On top of all that her myspace site is awesome and definitely worth a long visit.

photo:
Celebrate people's history poster, by Nicole.
and
detail of a bodice front.

amazon seamstress.

My friend and crafty rebel spinning knitter gardner apple tree havin' extraordinaire Tina has written a glowing article for etsy's STORQUE about Rebel1in8 and Rhea Belle clothing. I was honored to be a part of such a well written and supportive piece. Because of it I have sold every last Rebel cap necklace in my etsy store so a new batch is in the works!!! Stay tuned because a lot of new jewelry and clothing is coming!

"amazon seamstress". I love that. love. love. love.

photo by gcs.

tulips and eggshells.

comment to "The Breastless Debate".

If this conservative, oppressive, misguided society in which I live in can get away with shoving it's mainstream-shallow-ideals of how a woman's body should look in my face then I have the right to shove these unmeasured thoughtful words back.

I don’t know how many times I’ve said to myself- “this wasn’t a political decision- a statement maker”. The decision to walk the earth without a fake breast was a simple one based on my own personal ideologies and tolerances. However, I am wiling to admit that I am living in a “sociosexual” bombarded/guided society and that any decision about my body and how I “display” myself in the world is informed by my reactions to the society in which I live. I make every effort to guide my inner dialogue with clarity and honesty and to make sure there are no conflicts within my language. I don’t say things like “I wanted to look, feel normal” like so many women with implants and prosthesis say. I don’t suggest that I “disposed of my vanity after my mastectomy” like I’ve read from a woman under-going breast reconstruction. There is nothing normal feeling/looking or vanity-free about breast reconstruction or prostheses. Socially- yes these bodies look normal because clothing aids as a buffer. Naked and alone with the truth exposed, the trickery fails. If we can’t all agree on that then someone is kidding themselves. There is a massive refusal to admit the raw truth behind what supports our decisions as we design our bodies and socially conscious selves after a single or bi-lateral mastectomy. If there is indeed some degree of a sociosexual statement to be perceived from the simple act of refusing anything fake in/on my body then so be it. But no one should misguide themselves and believe, not even a mere comforting second, that the decision to have an implant or two or to wear a prosthesis is not PURELY a socially and/or sexually driven act.

We must all thoughtfully, truthfully clarify our language and acknowledge the very real pressures that surround the manipulation of our bodies- physically and socially. Until women can look in the mirror and empower themselves with their own deep truths, without prejudice and judgment, the continued deception of who or what guides our decisions will be the fist that pummels us more deeply into the depths of what seems like, bottomless oppression.

I'm sick of the implication that moving forward without reconstruction or a prosthesis is the inferior solution. The medical arena as well as the government makes sure we have complete access to and financial support for reconstructive surgery. Amoena provides a "better quality of life" and Nearly You makes sure that we can get the perfect $300+ prosthesis and all the swim wear and bras our little hearts desire. But try to find one- JUST ONE single cup bra (besides the one I made!) or garment that embraces the body with one or no breast. Mainstream America's obsession to look normal and/or deny our own mortality by acts of deception forces women who don't buy into these illusions to find resolve in granny shawls, over-sized t-shirts, dart-less garments, speedos and/or diving gear. I had a breast removed. NOT my damn sense of style!

It could not be more blatant that society wants to deny that these single or no-breasted bodies exist in hopes that eventually we will join the masses- "faking it" while in the peaceful, quiet folds of a pretty, soft, cozy big fat pink ribbon.

"Prosthesis offers that empty comfort of 'Nobody will know the difference'. But it is that very difference which I wish to affirm, because I have lived it, and survived it, and wish to share that strength with other women. If we are to translate the silence surrounding breast cancer into language and action against this scourge, then the first step is that women with mastectomies become visible to each other. For silence and invisibility go hand in hand with powerlessness."
Audre Lorde, "The Cancer Journals", 1980
(Chapter III, "Breast Cancer: Power vs. Prosthesis")

and mere observations here.

tolerant, team rebels.

a blast?
well, i'll be honest... these "awareness" walks are never a blast for me. they are a mixed bag of joy- because i'm there amongst the living- but also with restrained, throat stiffening sadness- because the "in memory" tags surround you.

and then there's the side of me that really didn't want to be there- just get me out of "cancerland". at one point i even suggested that we cut out of the park and get breakfast. g immediately started looking for a pathway out. but it seemed too much like cheating. and i couldn't rationalize or intellectualize why i wanted to escape so we just kept walking. but escape is what i wanted. instead i clammed up. got cranky. and entered a real funk that i am just starting to come out of.

and then there was my t-shirt. the one in the photograph. the one i 'whipped up' the night before because i refused to wear the bright pink, too big- "i would never wear this t-shirt on any other day of the year so why wear it now" race t-shirt. but i must say i have never felt so out of place as i did in the sea of over 25,000 walkers this day. and despite my "rebel" reputation i just could not muster the kahoonas to rise above the feeling of defeat and thinking "why didn't i just wear the big ugly shirt?". then i was frustrated that i had become so self-conscious about it. so arrogant to think that it mattered. but sh*t! it did.

it matters that on this particular day we march against a disease that mutilates our bodies, chisels at our souls a bit, and often challenges our spirituality and body politics. and then, when the disease is gone we re-invent ourselves. we rebuild. we thoughtfully design ourselves to re-enter the world in a form that we can be proud of. but, yet on this day of awareness. this day of celebration. we veil ourselves in corporate sponsorship.

i'd like to have blast at one of these walks... sing a fight song at the top of my lungs... hear marching bands at the mile markers... see women proud to be in their beautiful new bodies, in their own clothes, in their own individuality... on this day... of all days.

ps. thanks for not wearing one, g.
originally posted here

Tribute to Audre Lorde, poet and warrior. (1934-1992)

Audre Lorde- Black lesbian feminist warrior mother poet essayist educator activist- died on November 17, 1992 after a fourteen-year struggle with cancer.

"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect... for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence"
Audre Lorde, "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action"

"For me, the primary challenge at the core of mastectomy was the stark look at my own mortality. Hinged upon the fear of a life-threatening cancer. This event called upon me to re-examine the quality and texture of my entire life, its priorities and commitments, as well as the possible alterations that might be required in the light of that re-examination. I had already faced my own death, whether or not I acknowledged it, and i needed now to develop that strength which survival had given me.

Prosthesis offers that empty comfort of "Nobody will know the difference". But it is that very difference which I wish to affirm, because I have lived it, and survived it, and wish to share that strength with other women. If we are to translate the silence surrounding breast cancer into language and action against this scourge, then the first step is that women with mastectomies become visible to each other. For silence and invisibility go hand in hand with powerlessness."
Audre Lorde, "The Cancer Journals",1980
(Chapter III, "Breast Cancer: Power vs. Prosthesis")

if i could turn
her words into air
for all women
facing breast cancer
to breath in,
to even consider
their fresh crisp truths
i would.

J.S.
photograph by Jean Weisinger

history of a rebel.

2002: i found this bottlecap in the street here in brooklyn in front of our apartment building. smashed and with its fancy scalloped edges i drilled a hole in it to make this necklace for gcs on her birthday. i chose to use the clear glass beads that had broken off of one of my favorite antique czech glass necklaces. upon stringing i realized that i had one less clear bead than i needed for its symmetry. i fretted not even a moment and reached for a round amber bead to complete the strand.

cut to two years later:
i was brain storming for ways to raise money to pay my medical bills upon the news of a bc diagnoses when uninsured. i had applied for financial aid at the hospital that i was planning to have surgery and we were waiting to find out just how much the surgery and possible adjuct therapy was going to cost. anyway, i was in g's bedroom chatting while she was cleaning, putting away laundry or dressing- i don't even remember really but we were chatting and i was going through her jewelry and i came across this necklace.

cut to later that day:
it came to me that i could start making jewelry to generate some extra cash flow and i would start with these "rebel" necklaces. there was something charmimgly spontaneous about it's style; tender in it's crafty, "outsiderish/found objectishness". i never imagined that i'd make jewelry. i'm a painter, not a jeweler. in order to bring meaning to my mission i decided that the necklaces would have eight beads on them- with one bead of the eight being a pink bead to represent the 2004 statistic "one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer". i ran next door to g's to share the idea and to borrow the necklace as a prototype. it was then that i realized that the beading on the necklace, that i had made two years prior, had 7 clear glass beads and 1 amber. rebel1in8 was born in 2002. i caught up with it in 2004.