offerings, politics and poetics.

(photo: Rhea in the light of day.)

sharing a dialogue
unveiling the views
digging for poetics

and all the while

in a single breasted
or breast-less world...
the ocean awaits.

*

"Hi Jacqueline,

My name is *** I work for *** on behalf of our client, Lands' End. I recently saw your post on post-mastectomy winter clothing and thought you and your readers may be interested in the mastectomy swimwear line from Lands’ End, since summer is right around the corner.

You can view the line here.

Lands’ End mastectomy swimwear is made to help women feel feminine and confident while participating in all summer activities:

All suits are designed with a soft cup bra for additional support.

The bra and liner hold the prosthesis in place with a durable under-bra elastic band to provide free range of motion, maximum comfort and the ultimate confidence on the beach.

Each suit is constructed to hold one or two breast prostheses.

All suits are feminine, expertly made and of course, beautiful as they flatter all figures.

If you’re interested, we can conduct a product giveaway for your readers or provide you with products for your review.

I'd love the chance to provide you any additional information or answer any of your questions. Please let me know if you're interested.

Best regards,
*** "

*

Hello there ***,
I do appreciate your letter and information. However, I don't think that you are truly familiar with my audience or me and I'm not sure exactly which post you are referring to.

I and most of my loyal readers and clients have not had reconstructive surgery OR embrace the concept/philosophy of using a prosthesis. With this in mind the traditional "post-mastectomy" clothing, bras and swimwear are of no use to us.

Should you ever be interested in representing the growing number of women who are simply embracing their transformed architecture without painful reconstruction or the uncomfortable use of a prosthesis please see my evolving clothing line www.rheabelle.com and we can talk about perhaps expanding my market for these much needed and desired garments.

Kindly,
Jacqueline Skaggs

*

"Hi Jacqueline,

Thank you for your response. The post I was referring to was this one about restructuring Laurie's clothing after her single right side Mastectomy. I also visited the clothing line here which features clothing options for women post-mastectomy. Perhaps I was too general in my first email.

I think it is very inspiring that you offer clothing for women who have chosen not to have reconstructive surgery or use a prosthesis. Lands' End's Mastectomy Swimwear line offers a swimwear option for all women who have had a mastectomy. For women who have chosen to use a prosthetic, the bra and liner provides support to hold that in place, however you do not need to have had reconstructive surgery or a prosthetic for this to be a great swim option. I apologize if that was not as clear as it could have been below.

If you or your readers are interested in any Lands' End swim items and/or accessories I would like to offer you use of the following promotion.


Code: SWIM

PIN: 530530530

Expiration: April 17, 2008


Again, thank you for your response and please let me know if I can provide any additional information.


Regards,
*** "

*

***,

How thoughtful of you to respond to my letter. Perhaps I didn't give the swimwear appropriate consideration. You are certainly right that the swimwear could be enjoyed without a prosthesis- though I would be concerned that the "empty" cup would appear puffy and vulnerable to being smushed in. I do love the fabrics and the styles are actually quite "fashionable".

I am very honest and informative with my readers and I think any discourse/dialogue surrounding the politics of fashion after a breast cancer surgery is very important. With this in mind I will post our email conversations (I won't use your personal or company name, of course) along with the promotional offer- thank you very much for that.

All the best,
Jacqueline

*

"Hi Jacqueline,

If you want, we could send a suit so that you can provide your readers with first hand experience. You can view the line here. Just pick a suit that you like and send me your size and shipping information and we can get one sent over right away. Does that interest you?

Thanks!
*** "

*

WOW! Do you mean a "complimentary" suit?

*

"Yes exactly!"

*

THANK YOU!!! I'm at work (lunch at my desk) and my monitor can be seen by the entire office (new job)- no one knows my med history (just yet) and I don't want to be seen looking at pm suits- (social politics-sigh). But I will certainly view them this evening and choose one!!!

How thoughtful! AND interactive!!! This discourse exchange is so necessary and important! I'll certainly review the suit on my blog. I plan to post our conversations tonight (last night got away from me) and it will be cool to continue with a review...

Kindly,
Jacqueline

*

"Wonderful! (I definitely understand the new job social politics)... I will send your suit choice in on Monday so we can get it to you right away.

Have a wonderful weekend and talk to you soon!
*** "

*
note:
Truth be told...
In an effort to embrace the offer I've looked at my options. And looked some more. I think I've discovered a suit from the "post-mastectomy" category with a good cut... to renovate in a Rhea Belle kind of way. But clearly. Clearly. These suits are made for women who would prefer to fake it (I just can't think of a better, more political term to use here)- with generous padding, shaped cups and a structural/architectural design created more for the two-breasted body. Ideologically, philosophically, intellectually and even poetically I simply can not embrace the idea of the padding or prosthesis pockets. So I'll most likely remove it all. There are indeed some very cool and classically designed bathing suits in the "two-breasted" choices. And considering of the 216 suits available only 14 are "post-mastectomy" I did see several other suits that were not in the "post-mastectomy" category that I also liked, perhaps even better. But we'll start with the one I've chosen. I'll keep you posted on the renovations... if they're even necessary. I am certain they will be.

I've chosen Item #28066-1AJ5. I like the classic style- the kind that doesn't look like I'm wearing my underwear to the beach. And it's the kind of cut that when I dive, summer-salt underwater, wrestle with John or tossing the nerf I won't be pulling fabric out of my crack when I wade back to the sand. I've never exposed a whole lot of skin while swimming and haven't owned a two-piece since forever. I do wish this suit came in a funner fabric- I also like the the version that's NOT in the "post-mastectomy" category but I don't think it's an option. If Lands' End were on the ball they'd be designing these suits for our transformed bodies in fabulously printed and thoughtfully designed fabrics to balance/compliment our asymmetrical architecture without unnecessary padding and pockets.

I'll keep you posted...

*

hello there ***,

how about suit #28066-1aj5 size 8 in black.

is it too late to take you up on the offer?

*

"nope not at all! I will place the order and be in touch soon to let you know when it will arrive. Also, if you want to giveaway a gift card to one of your readers we can do that as well. You can set up the giveaway how ever you like, and then just send me the winners information and we will take it from there.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks!
*** "

*

thank you!!! have you seen my recent post at my blog. i am writing an honest and "true to myself" documentation of our dialogue. i do hope there are no objections on your end... please let me know! when i get home tonight i'll add something about the "give-away". THANK YOU for what i believe is an essential collaboration of ideologies- a marriage of different minds- solidarity!

jacqueline

*

"Hi Jacqueline,

I read the post and I think it sounds great. I hope you enjoy the suit and find it fits nicely. I will be placing your order today hopefully, so you should have it by the end of the week or Monday at the latest. Stay tuned!"

*

note: a pause for reflection and observation.

*

"Hi Jacqueline,

I just wanted to let you know that I have placed your suit order and you should receive it early next week. Let me know if it doesn't come.

Thanks!

*

a wordless narrative.

prelude. continues...
















to be continued.

found words and fabric inventions.

today and
so many clicks
away

from whence i came
i don't remember where

but along the meandering
path
i found
discovered
unveiled

Helen Heath

and

Show Your Workings.

i heart kindness.

My sister just sent me the following link. My heart went all sorts of ways upon checking it out. This artist's project gives me faith in the potential goodness of the human spirit and in... generosity. selflessness. unconditional thoughtfulness. the creative spirit. the joy of giving. and receiving. I am reminded that kindness is so damn cool I can hardly stand it.

THE HEARTS PROJECT.

Chris Uphues is an artist whose works are currently being exhibited at Alcove, my sister's gallery in the Chelsea art district in New York City.

no. 4

"objects and silicone" is a series of images that explore objects made of various materials and always includes the $300 unused Amoena silicone breast prosthesis. Each still life embraces the object's forms, surfaces, functions and innate properties. With the unused silicone prosthesis seen separated from a woman's body an avalanche of demystification begins and this object becomes empty of purpose and its emotional and social powers.

Set within a quasi sterile environment the settings are intentionally void of sentimental, romantic light leaving the objects to speak for themselves and to each other. This photographic project is an experiment in observation and the impetus is born from a desire to clarify and unveil a narrative of truth. This impetus exemplifies and remains the fundamental purpose of Rebel1in8.

and the award goes to... !

Remember the documentary "Breast Cancer: New Thinking & New Therapies" that I was included in October? Well it has just been awarded an incredibly prestigious acknowledgment. I received the following email from the Senior Producer of the program. It was actually no surprise to me as I knew that Jeela Billimoria performed fabulously in its production.

"WABC TV has just won a Gracie Allen Award from AWRT (American Women for Radio & Television) for last year’s Breast Cancer Special and we thank you for your great help with this Special.

It was in the “Outstanding Public Affairs” category and I think we should be justifiably proud, as we were once again competing in the top 25 markets in the country, and we bagged it.

By the way, this Special also has garnered an Emmy nomination. We’ll keep our fingers crossed on that.

Best,
J

Jeelu Billimoria
Senior Producer
WABC TV"

Just how COOL is that!!!?

the "cleanse". one sunday evening.

On reconstitution in 1 liter of water, one pouch A and one pouch B provide: PEG-3350, 29.6 mmol/L, Sodium 181.6 mmol/L, Chloride 59.8 mmol/L, Sulfate 52.8 mmol/L, Potassium 14.2 mmol/L, Ascorbate 29.8 mmol/L (say WHAT?)

Directions: The diet that is allowed on the day of the prep (the day before your examination) is clear liquids/juices (popsicles and sodas included), coffee or tea (NO milk or creamers) and plain or vanilla yogurt (no milk but yogurt is ok?). At 6pm mix contents into 1 liter of luke warm water. Every 15 minutes, drink 8oz of the solution until the liter is complete. Drink 16oz of the clear liquid of your choice. At 8pm repeat.

Dose number one (1 Liter) began at 6pm tonight. Dose number two (1 liter), which was suppose to start at 8pm, actually got started at a little after 9pm and didn't end until approximately 11:15pm. Why? you might ask. Well, each 8oz glass of solution was to be taken every 15 minutes apart. But considering it also took me 15-20 minutes to stand around and whine about how disgusting the liquid was between each gulp- it took about one and a half hours to finish each liter. As instructed, I waited a very friendly and generous hour in between each liter while enjoying 16oz of clear liquids of my choice. I had prepared no-pulp orange juice posicles but worried that they weren't CLEAR enough. I opted for bottled water and a ginger ale. After starting liter number two, 28oz of it later and at around 11:15pm the final 4oz were poured down the drain. I simply could not take it anymore. I probably disposed of a total of 6oz throughout the process.

The hard part is over. I've done this before back in 2004 so I know the actual procedure is a breeze. I was placed on a five year screening plan after that one. Upon meeting my new PCP she decided to place me on a three year plan after learning of my brother's colon cancer diagnosis at the age of 52 and my breast cancer history. Yes, I know it's now been four years, not three. I kept putting off making the appointment and then just a few days before the prescription for the consultation expired I called and set one up. I've actually been worried about this screening. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot. I won't go into extreme detail except to say that something is either pressing AGAINST my colon or is IN my colon because there is some "sculpting" taking place and that's all I'm going to say. Now, I'm not extruding anything fancy like stars or octagon shapes like a play-doh press. It's not nearly that fun and a lot more simple than that. While I remember my brother saying that he avoided certain known symptoms in an attempt to minimize them away before he finally resigned to the exam that discovered his cancer, I really do believe that it's something a lot less scary that is causing this curious creative symptom/circumstance that began almost a year ago. And waiting so long to make this appointment is a whole other story. One you might know well, even.

It's nearly 1am and I have accomplished the "all clear". And those of you who know- know what I'm talkin' about. My colonoscopy appointment is at 11am tomorrow. I'll meet you back here in the afternoon with the results and a cheeseburger, no! make that chicken panang curry, no! the drunken noodles, no! let's have spinach, garlic and ricotta pizza, no! maybe baked salmon with roasted peppers and mashed potatoes, no! replace the salmon with pork chops... damn I'm hungry!

UPDATE: GOOD NEWS! all is NORMAL!!!

The note written on my post-procedure form by my doctor: "You did great! Just hemorrhoids. Everything was normal." (sorry. that's a little too much info isn't it?)

I explained to her before the procedure that I was expecting no less than an A+ for the cleansing part as I successfully accomplished expelling nothing but clear liquid. Yep, I'm braggin'. So it's internal hemorrhoids and possibly the walnut size hemorrhagic cyst (thats actually almost the size of the ovary) on my left ovary and small fibroids on my inverted uterus that are causing pressure on my colon. All that unnecessary worry.

In general the procedure went really smoothly. The facility was real fine and the staff was so professional and kind. I just love going to a NON teaching hospital. The only thing that occurred that didn't happen during my last colonoscopy is that I experienced pain during the exam. I voiced my discomfort- or at least I think I did and I think someone said something to the effect "we're almost finished- you'll be alright". The next thing I remember is being in the recovery area feeling a bit tired but perfectly fine. Perhaps I dreamed about the pain. It's really no biggy now though as no harm was done and I really don't recall anything about the actual exam and that's one thing they want to accomplish. John went with me and while I was willing to take the subway John insisted that we jump into a cab to head downtown from the upper East side. Several blocks into the ride though I had to get out because I thought I was going to be sick. You know- the sweaty mouth and tightening of the jaw sensation. I don't know what that was about- perhaps post anesthesia and almost-empty-stomach syndrome (except for two small containers of cranberry juice and two vanilla cookies complements of New York Presbyterian Hospital). Anyway I didn't barf and as we walked I began to feel better. We stopped at a diner and I had to settle for cream of broccoli soup and mashed potatoes for lunch as only "soft" foods were prescribed for the rest of the day. John insisted that I eat before I jump on the subway to head to Brooklyn and this was probably a dandy good idea.

So here I am extremely thrilled to have the exam over and with such glorious results!!!. As a matter of fact I don't have another procedure until Late Spring or Summer and that will be a mammogram/ultra-sound or an MRI. I forget which is next. I'm considering dropping the mammogram from my screening regime and doing only the ultra-sound and MRI alternating every six months. I'm just not thrilled about all of the radiation exposure accumulated over the years considering I had my first mammogram at the age of 30 and began yearly mammography screening at the age of 36 AND I received high dose radiation treatments to my former right breast area in 2001 for my first diagnosis. I know each of these screening techniques has something different to offer and different benefits but I need to take control and get a handle on ANY treatment that may actually raise my risk of any future cancer.

Anyway- I'm freakin' HAPPY. And it feels like Spring today to boot! Or I feel like Spring today is probably more the case.