memoirs of a night gone by.

a tribute to co-survivors... a tribute to their role and their instinctual healing powers when the going gets tough.

on a restless night, some six years ago, during my first cancer battle in 2000 (i can call that one a battle for i was angry, bitter and pissed off because at age 36 i was jerked out of my naive slippery illusion that i would live a long healthy life for at least another 50 years) i lay awake in the dark as my husband slept next to me. the ill-guided fear and anger would prevent me from sleep for many nights during the weeks of radiation treatments and this night was no different. i knew the feelings would eventually result in an eruption of emotional release- i would cry long and really really hard- the deep from the gut kind of cry. when i would feel it coming on i'd escape to the bathroom, close the door and cry into the thickest towel in an effort to spare my husband from my inarticulatable fear- until exhaustion. but this night, while i lay there acknowledging the signs, i gave in and stayed put. i began to weep uncontrolably. quietly and without alarm my husband turned the bedroom light on. he then reached for this book that had been on the nightstand for weeks. without explanation he moved close to me and began reading aloud. calming me with his wisdom, taking me from my world of fear into the memoirs... of a night gone by.