serendipity. and barbie.

several weeks ago, well, way back in june when i really should have posted this, i met Shelley Lewis author of Naked Republicans. Shelly had come across my website and discovered that we shared similar views regarding the breast cancer pink-cult-like arena. she's writing a book about her own experience with breast cancer (and other important topics and points of view but i don't think i should give away any details here) and asked if i'd like to meet to talk about my experience and views surrounding the social side effects, cliches and stigma related to breast cancer. luckily we both live in new york so this was an exciting and managable endeavor. this particular week proved to be very "journalism" guided because just a few days later i was also interviewed by a dallas texas reporter regarding cancer blogs. anyway, Shelly and i agreed to meet at a swanky, hip hotel lounge at union square. well happy hour was at it's peak when we arrived and loud and crowded didn't seem lke the best combination for two women who had just met and had some good talking to do. so we sauntered over to a nearby starbucks just a half-a-block away. yes, starbucks. while i do rarely patron this house of coffee, in general, i don't voluntarily sit inside and well, hangout and be SEEN in the joint. i won't go into all of the reasons why i'd like to be wearing a big hat and sunglasses while in starbucks but one main reason is due to my dear friend Nicole. she's the author/illustrator of "it's only a matter of time" -a work that we kind of collaborated on together. Nicole is an ACTIVE, hearty supporter of the starbucks union and every time i venture inside of one of them for a strong burnt tastin' brew i can't help but feel like a scab. however, it was a convenient and a reasonable environment for a conversation. so there i was.

Shelly and i clicked. our conversation flowed for more than two hours and during that time we discovered that we had a lot in common and shared many views. while sharing our personal experience with breast cancer we discovered that we had both refused the traditional tattoo process prior to our radiation treatments. truly a bonding moment. this is not a popular act within the treatment world but it can be accomplished with persistence. and we both did this for the same reason: to preserve some sense of control over what was happening to our bodies- to claim ownership of them to any degree possible, whenever possible.

so there we are havin' a time when i begin to hear what sounded like a base drum and a rise in activity outside of the starbucks doors. i looked outside of the very large window that we were pratically sitting in front of and didn't think much of the crowd that had gathered just beyond the glass. i concluded that it was a group of tourist that had gathered to prepare to enter the establishment for a coffee break. but, boy was i wrong. Shelly and i had just returned to our conversation after a brief distraction to figure out what was going on when the shouting began. i turned again to witness the evolution of the uprise when i realize the reality of the forces on the sidewalk. the gatherers, now holding signs of revolt and chanting inaudibly had began marching in a circle. as i began laughing at the irony of the situation i knew 'it was only a matter of time' that i would see her pass the window while spinning in protest. one mississippi, two mississippi, THERE SHE IS! Nicole! in all her heigth and glory protesting in front of the one in a million goddamn starbucks in new york city!!! still laughing i shifted so my back was to the window while explaining to Shelly the delicious serendipitous timing and location of our meeting. she asked if i wanted to leave- "ummm, not particularly at this moment" i thought to myself since the ring of activist were blocking the exit. i told her i'd wait it out and hope that they were gone by the time we wrapped up our conversation. in hindsight i wish i'd gone to the large window and guided Nicole's attention to it by my waving joyfully and as if to invite her in to join us... she would have really enjoyed Shelly's company as well.

Shelly was a wealth of information and insight. she turned me on to several good books- one of which i'm now reading and is currently on the top of my recommended MUST READ list- if i had one. perhaps i'll add a book list to the right-side stuff. The book Breast Cancer: Society Shapes an Epidemic, by Anne S. Kasper should be mandatory reading for ALL women and young girls- with AND without breast cancer. personally, i think if you have a daughter it is a parental obligation to read this book. It's a real dose of reality and empowerment aimed at creating an acute awareness of a slimy, seductive, transparent system that ultimately guides the evolution of a breast cancer diagnosis, it's treatment and social aftermath. nothing but facts lie within the pages. no judgments. just facts. that's the beauty of it. here's a sample of what you'll find:

"... Next, the social construction of women's health is examined. This examination focuses particularly on the roles of the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons (ASPRS), the AMA, and the companies that manufacture breast implants in reinforcing the ideology that women's breasts are diseased. In addition, this chapter demonstrates how each of these institutions profits from the medicalization of women's breast and the continued practice of breast augmentation and reconstruction. Thus, this chapter primarily concentrates on these members of the medical establishment. Finally, suggestions for social change are presented, which include ideological, structural, and individual level solutions." (page 54)

"As (Ann) Kasper suggests, women are receiving powerful messages about their breasts. It should not be surprising then, that, for many women their self-esteem and self-worth are largely determined by their breast size and shape. How do we begin to address this problem that is so ingrained in our patriarchal society?
To begin, women's social status needs to be separated from the cultural valuation and objectification of their bodies. Specifically, media representations of women and women's bodies should be changed so that these images reflect the great diversity of body shapes and sizes that exist, including images of women who have had mastectomies." (page 83)

i really don't give a rat's arse what a person's body looks like. but it's too late. i guess at this point in order to establish even an illusion of social equality we, now, have to exploit and parade ALL women "to be separated from the cultural valuation and objectification of their bodies".

i believe Shelly's book is due out this winter. i'll keep you posted. in the meantime, stop hem-halling about whether or not you should throw out your daughter's lameass barbie doll. if you don't think this plastic stick contributes to the earliest misguided destructive illusions of the female body stop kidding yourself. step up to your responsibility to raise a strong, socially conscious, secure, confident human being. heck, the hard rail-thin thing isn't even cuddly-able and all of her clothes come from frederick's of hollywood. what does THAT accomplish anyway? i seriously can't think of one good thing about barbie. giving that thing the ol' heev-ho would be the first step in "individual level solutions"... and reading the above mentioned book, of course.

find other good reads here.